Analysis of Three Essays #2

I read Alfi, Beatrice and Cecilia's essays. I feel Alfi's thesis was clear, and showed complexity that he could discuss later in his essay. The structure of each paragraph remains consistently the same, with the exception of #3 that starts with an elaboration to the second paragraph. The writer also clearly portrays their point trough the thesis and is backed with clear quotes and examples. the only part of the essay I would change is that each topic sentence was very lengthy and sometimes wordy, so I would either split the topic sentence in two or clearly state the main point in as few words as possible. Overall I would give this a B+.